i'd love you more if you knew how to listen
Johan Cruyff seems like a jerk. He is always talking and complaining about something. I wish he would just go back to Barcelona for good. Barcelona and Cruyff deserve each other. I also wish Davids would put on his shades and slide tackle the $@%! out of him in their next encounter.
—
Seedorf1023 on ESPN’s Comments Page
Hilarious.
“TP Days 5 and 7
Surely one of the best feelings in the world is that glorious mixed sensation of relief and satisfaction, borne out of hard work paying off. Handsomely. I was filled with that feeling of achievement on TP Day 5, after my efforts were rewarded with a ‘to standard’ grading that I was obviously gunning for. In all my life, I’ve been taught that if you’re not as clever or smart or talented, you’ve just got to work harder. I’ve been brought up to believe, and I still do believe, that hard work will produce results. It’s unlikely to be the best results, but it’s results nonetheless. I’m glad that TP Day 5 reminded me of that.
TP Day 7 however, reminded me that sometimes, hard work just isn’t enough. I honestly did feel that I tried my absolute best in planning my lesson and working on my LA, and I did feel that the lesson I was supposed to teach was a huge challenge. I had wanted to challenge myself sure, but when I sat down properly and carefully ran through the minute details, it did feel like it was bordering on the impossible. I felt like I was fighting a losing battle from the go, and that’s a horrible (and wrong) mindset to be in no matter what you’re doing. It did feel like being a student proper once more, going into an exam knowing even beforehand that academic doom was just around the corner. The positive outcome of feeling like a student was that it also reminded me of the obstacles I’ve overcome in the past; that in spite of repeated failures and setbacks I’ve always eventually conquered them (to varying degrees of success of course).
It’s ridiculous to try and lie and claim that failing two out of four lessons (one of which was a trial/diagnostic) isn’t hugely, immensely disappointing, as I was really really cut up about it. But there’s nothing to gain from moping around and whining, and it’s crucial that I don’t eff things up again. I do feel like I’m walking a tightrope now, that my margin for error is virtually gone and that I have no more ‘second-chances’. I have belief in myself and my ability, and I really need to prove it.”
- dated 30/01/12
(Source: bravisandnutthead)
Today I ran into an old acquaintance from way back, for just about 5 minutes on the bus. He was from a community of people I was once, on paper at least, a part of, and despite how I’ve always tried to retcon this particular bit of my history, it has influenced me in so many ways it’s extremely difficult to simply forget its impact. I’ve always jokingly denied ever being a part of them, such is my dislike for the inherent nature of the structure and community. I have to admit though, that deep down in my heart, I know I hated it because I sucked so badly at it, that I was last-choice, but a choice nonetheless due to the lack of other quality players.
In anycase my old acquaintance, arguably the most easy-going of them, gave me a brief update on the lives of the rest. It was strange hearing their names again, after putting in so much effort to distance myself from them, and yet it was somewhat comforting to know that their life paths sounded just like I’d have predicted, that it sounded just about right.
(via thingssheloves)
Football teams are extraordinarily inventive in the ways they find to cause their supporters sorrow. They lead at Wembley and then throw it away; they go to the top of the First Division and then stop dead; they draw the difficult away game and lose the home replay; they beat Liverpool one week and lose to Scunthorpe the next; they seduce you, halfway through the season, into believing that they are promotion candidates and then go the other way… always, when you think you have anticipated the worse that can happen, they come up with something new.
— Fever Pitch
“TP Day 3
I’m only doing my TP Day 3 reflections just one day before TP Day 4, because I wanted to have a calmer, clearer mind as I wrote/typed my thoughts down - on TP Day 3 itself, after exiting the room, I had so much negative energy that I needed to let out of my system, a violent desire to re-do my lesson, no matter how impossible that was, to set things right and prove myself to… well, everyone, myself included.
To say that TP Day 3 was a new experience would be a massive understatement. The moment I ran out of time, unable to complete my lesson plan, I knew I had done badly. Nevermind whatever went before, no matter how positive (although admittedly, there were next to zero positive points), I knew I had screwed up as I sat down on my chair and handed the time over to my colleague. It was only come feedback session though, did I then realize how big of a mess I had made out of my lesson.
Even the slightest things which I thought I had done marginally right, turned out to be wrong. The number of lexis I had taught was wrong, the way I had taught them was wrong, the amount of time I used was wrong, the amount of TTT I had was way wrong, the speed of my speech was just wrong as well. In short, it felt like everything that could have gone wrong (bar me falling over a chair and poking myself in the eye, which actually does sound like a better alternative) did go wrong.
I wouldn’t say I’m used to failing, but I’ve failed things before. I’ve failed countless academic tests and exams. The difference is that this isn’t a Chemistry, or Physics or even a Chinese test, this is a test of my English as well as my teaching skills. English, which apart from football, is the subject I daresay I’m most familiar with. Teaching, which I’ve done (with children) for nearly two years. Speaking publicly, which I’ve done for four years in secondary school. These are the factors that make my failure particularly difficult to swallow. Perhaps the hardest thing to do at the moment, is not just learning to speak clearer, less, and slower, but also unlearning, from four years worth of debate training, speaking quickly, more and dominating the stage when presented.
I know this defeat doesn’t signal the end of anything, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t extremely, immensely and bitterly disappointed with myself. Mistakes are meant to be learned from, not repeated, and repeating these mistakes again in TP Day 3 was both stupid, and subconsciously out of my control. I must learn to make it conscious, and I’m trying my best, I’m pulling out all the tricks I know and have learnt from the past, because I must do better.
There are other difficulties as well, such as my age. Being 21 has it’s benefits, but in this particular course with its current personnel and environment, I do feel it’s more of a hindrance than an advantage. There is so much more I have to learn both academically and skills-wise, so much more I have to adapt to in terms of not just being the youngest in the course, but also having such a significant age gap between myself and my colleagues and my students, so much more I must improve on.”
- 17/01/12
(via arabesque)
Looking into the future, it’d probably be the courses I’d be taking
“TP Day 2
Not sure how often or regular I’d be updating this online journal, but here’s my first go. Today was the first time we all had to teach a class, in some way or another. It wasn’t my first time teaching, but it definitely was my first time teaching adults the English language. I had confidence in myself and my ability, but of course the experience was different, and I made mistakes because of this change, such as addressing these people (some of whom were possibly double my age) inappropriately.
As I sat back down in my chair immediately after my teaching slot was up, I did feel very satisfied with myself. But 5 minutes later, I reflected on my slot properly and wasn’t as satisfied, and during the feedback session with Peter I was even less satisfied with my teaching display. He rightly (and constructively) pointed out how I hadn’t given instructions in a central position, how I had spoken way way too fast, how I hadn’t chunked my instructions and how I had too much teacher talking time. On the way home as I reflected further, I felt very disappointed with myself because I already anticipated that such occurrences might arise while I teach. I knew that, in front of a crowd, I tend to speak as fast as a bullet-train and tend to ramble on and on. I also knew that as a result, I don’t often give clear, direct and concise instructions. The fact that I knew my weaknesses beforehand, and still continued to commit such glaring errors, really frustrated me. And giving instructions in a central position? That’s the most basic, fundamental skill anyone has to have in order to effectively communicate with a large group: capture your audience from a central position where you can see everyone and everyone can see you. It’s a skill I know I have, and in making such an elementary mistake I disappointed myself further.
Lesley and Peter, I don’t know if you’d read this, but I can assure both of you I’m not as downbeat or as harsh on myself as I might sound here. I know it’s still very very early days, and I know at least I’m getting some other things right, but the academic Singaporean student is kicking in me (even though I’ve been far from a straight-As student). I firmly believe in making mistakes to learn from them, and so that I may not repeat them again. Not repeating these public speaking mistakes are going to be difficult for me however: I always remember what I ought not to do, but once I’m on the floor I promptly forget all about them and ramble on forever.
It’s going to be a challenge.”
- dated 06/01/12
(via heartdisney)
